Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
