nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
