Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
