Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
