Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
