I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
