no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
