I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
