me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
