This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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