you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
