You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
