The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
