I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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