had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
