i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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