All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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