Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
