How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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