so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
