Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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