I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
