I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
