I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
time to smoke my breakfast
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
