good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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