it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
