Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Can't talk, ducks in the car
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
