Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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