its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
