If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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