I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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