Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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