I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
