why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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