No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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