Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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