i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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