so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
