You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think my vagina is haunted
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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