this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
