I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
