already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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