Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
