Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I think a kid would responsible me up
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
