then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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