I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
All the doctor said was why
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
