i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
