I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
