you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
