No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
