It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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