what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
