How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
